Thursday, December 03, 2009
Tears just rolled down my face unknowingly as we performed the last rituals to send ah gong off.
I didn't cry until today. Until i'm literally faced with the fact that he IS really going away and never returning.
I guess when its time, its time to go. I see life and death situations everyday in the hospital...i guess i could cope a little better.
Sometimes it takes a death in the family to bring everyone together. This is the first death so far i've witnessed in my maternal family. And its the first that all of us worked together. This is the first time I've seen all of us united as one. For the first time, I felt the love...the invisible strong bond.
At the end of the day, I question myself....have I worked too hard that I've neglected my family?
Ah gong was admitted into hospital on the same evening that I was supposed to do night shift.
I asked my mum what happened..and she said it was just an infection and he could talk and was only on antibiotics. So I didnt go down to see him that night, instead I went to do my night shift. Maybe he was blessing me that night....'cos it wasn't busy at all, I didn't have a single OT case. Even CT had zero cases, inpatients a small bunch and portable morning rounds was only 7 for entire hospital. I just wished I had gone down to see him before he went off.
I'm happy that at least he went in his sleep peacefully.
I'm not the best granddaughter, but i do love him.
Thank you ah gong for everything.
You'll always be etched deeply in my heart.
I know you're off to a better place now.
Will miss you greatly.
Scribbled by: jun @12:03 AM
